Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Alive.
So much puke
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
