after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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