I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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