This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
this boner is exhausting
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
