i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
