ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
