So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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