Sry I called you an 8
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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