i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
