Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
