I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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