You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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