its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize