HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
its not stalking. its research.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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