So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
