you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
