Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
