your thong is hanging out like whoa
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
