New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
