at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
and she was petting her beer can
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
