as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
