Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
where am i from again
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
