This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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