Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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