Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize