I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
