one might say we're banned from that church
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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