You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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