My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
