You're my little dorito
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
