how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
