I hate your face
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
