are you still at the devil's house?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
