may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
