We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
the raccoons are back...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
