I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You work out of a Hotel?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
