idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
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Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
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my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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