Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
