jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Slut skills are useful in every country.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
