Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
