Since when is my name a synonym for head?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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