I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
