his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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