my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
