a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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