Taylor Swift is so right about you.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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