im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
