ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize