He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
