i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize