the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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