she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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