I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
