I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
