dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
