i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I got inside last night via doggy door
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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