Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trust falling into bushes
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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