Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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