There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
did you just send me my own nude
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just gargled with NyQuil
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