Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
