It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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