it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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