I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
