I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
