Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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