oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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