xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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