i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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